The marriage of clergy is a controversial subject. Here are the current practices in the Christian tradition:

Roman Catholic: Clergy may not be married unless they are transfers from traditions that allow marriage. In such cases, the divorce or death of the wife means that the priest/deacon may not remarry without a dispensation from the local bishop. Bishops may not be married.

Eastern Orthodox: Clergy can be married IF they are married prior to their ordination to the priesthood – but married clergy are forbidden to be consecrated bishops. If a priest’s or deacon’s marriage ends from death or divorce, he may not remarry without a dispensation from the church and only for extraordinary reasons (such as a cleric family with many small children).

Anglican: These matters are handled by the diocese and/or jurisdiction where the cleric is from. In most cases, a cleric can marry, divorce, and remarry without concern once. Second remarriages are rare…and more than that are rarer still. Bishops can be married. Jurisdictions that allow same-sex marriages are in a state of technical disfellowship within the communion, thought that is not enforced.

Protestant: Wide variation. Marriages are generally allowed for Protestant clergy. In some places, when a cleric is divorced, he or she is also defrocked and disfellowshipped. In other communities, divorce has no bearing on the cleric…even to the point of permitting her or him to remain in their current ministry.

The various groups within Christianity that forbid remarriage do so with the belief that marriage is a sacrament (or a Biblical model) of the relationship between Christ and the Church. It is a “once-in-a-lifetime” experience. And while there are allowances for certain conditions, remarriage is an exception, not a given.

Most faith communities that do not excommunicate their divorced clergy might require some sort of divorce recovery program or individualized therapy before allowing the cleric to return to vocational ministry. In almost no settings would a member of the clergy be allowed to remarry before a healing period of 18-36 months. All of these steps are prudent.

In cases where clergy endure divorces as the “victim” of divorce (meaning she/he did not seek the divorce and wanted reconciliation), there is very little difference in remarriage. For example, some denominations would treat the “victim” of divorce the same with regards to whether or how remarriage happens. In a few denominations, a divorce-is-divorce approach means even if the spouse leaves, the cleric’s days as a vocational minister is over. If your spouse leaves you, that’s life.

There is another critical factor involved in this discussion: The leadership role of clergy. We expect clergy to be true paragons of virtue. Pastors find themselves on pedestals because, “to whom much is given, much is required.” This means that clergy must be “above reproach.” A divorced cleric, therefore, carries a stigma. Marital failure is often like the “Scarlet Letter”.

We need more discussion on this subject. Yes, I have a “horse in this race”. Let’s keep the discussion going anyway.